Heather Monahan: Overcome Your Villains

Welcome to Real Estate Excellence, making lasting connections to the best of the best in today's industry, elite. We'll help you expand your circle of influence by introducing you to the leaders in the real estate industry, whether it's top agents who execute at a high level every day, or the many support services working behind the scenes, we'll share their stories, ideologies and the inner workings of how they run a truly successful business, and show you how to add their tools to your belt now, please welcome the host with the most Tracy Hayes, Hey, welcome back to The Real Estate excellence Podcast. Today I have a very special event. A lady that I been really digging into over the last month, month and a half, actually, because she she reserved this day over a month ago, picked her up on LinkedIn, and just some of the things that she's doing resonated with a lot of the female agents that I've had on the show. But just, I don't think it only sticks with females, because I do know you do a lot of podcasts with males as well. This is really life lessons, some of the things that you've done and steps that you've taken your life to overcome. So Heather, I want you just to kind of kick it off. I know you've said it a million times your story, but I want you just, if you could kick off your story and lead up to that day you got fired.

Heather Monahan  1:58  
Yeah, of course. So it's so funny. Everybody loves to hear about that. So it's interesting. Actually, I just want to kind of shine a light on this right now, that every show that I go on, anything I do, people want to hear about what getting fired was like. However, five years ago, when I was fired, people thought I was crazy for posting about it. I mean, people told me you're crazy. Like, take that down. Don't tell people you got fired. And it's one of those moments in life. And I just encourage for all of you there, that when you check in with yourself and you're like, you know what, I feel like, this is a really good idea. I understand. No one else in my world thinks this is a good idea, but I think it is. You need to tune out the noise of everyone around you, and turn up that dial on your inner dialog and voice. And that's what I did that day, because everyone that I knew told me, you need to delete the post. You can't have a post up there saying you got fired. You know, you built this great reputation and business, and now you're ruining it. And I listened to my own voice, and I just said I didn't do anything wrong, and I'm proud of who I am. And if someone who isn't very nice doesn't like me and they want to fire me, I'm proud of that. I don't want to be on a team with that person. So for me, it was a very unconventional move. No one was posting about getting fired back then, and that's why I felt it was really important for me to be the one to do it. I had a real story to tell, and I wanted people to know they're not alone. And I can't tell you enough how many messages I get every single day from people who get fired and tell me how grateful they are for me, and to, you know, encourage them and let them know that this can be their jump off point, not the you know, the story's not over, it's actually the first day of your news story, and how exciting that can be. So that's just a little reminder, definitely turn up your own voice and definitely turn down the dial on all the other noise out there and listen to you. So for me, I had come up in business. I started in the wine business and then moved into the radio and media business pretty quickly thereafter, and had built up a lot of success, you know, quote, unquote success on paper, and, you know, bank account wise, and I was doing really well, and I was just named one of the most influential women in Radio In 2017

Heather Monahan  4:10  
which was a really big honor, because for years, I should have been getting that award for years, but I had been blacklisted from the list because certain people, females in the industry, hated me for whatever reasons that they had, you know, not for necessarily things I did, but more who I was. And, you know, I was constantly being told that the company I worked for, I was a chief revenue officer, so I was in charge of all of driving all the revenue for the company. And I done a really good job at it, but I was always being told to, you know, turn down my light to, you know, take a back seat and not be so aggressive, not lean in so much. And I had just launched a personal brand the year before I got fired, which essentially is why I got fired. I mean, they don't say that, but basically that that is what it is. So the GC and CFO had been contacting me like crazy, saying, You need to shut down your personal brand. This is a. Egregious, crazy. You're confusing people. And I again, I tuned up the noise inside of me instead of outside of me, and I said, No, I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm sharing who I am with the world in an effort to help others know that they can make it to the C suite. Whether you grew up poor, if you're a single mom, none of that matters. You can do whatever you want. Don't listen to other people that tell you that you can't. You that You can't. And so for me, yeah, if you could,

Podcast Intro  5:25  
if you could. So Boston heels is what you're referring to your brand. Is that correct? Is like?

Heather Monahan  5:29  
So that's a hashtag that I used when I first launched my brand, because when I was growing up, I was told that to make it to the C suite, you had to be a white male wearing a navy blue pantsuit. And I was told that multiple times by many, many people, and it's not true, right? Because I made it. And so for me, that was, you know, one of those big debunkings of these myths that so many of us believe because people tell us that it's a truth, and just because someone says something doesn't mean it's a truth for you or for anyone else, did

Podcast Intro  5:59  
your brand contradict what the media company was doing or something. Why did they not like your what you were doing? What were you doing? That? Was that what

Heather Monahan  6:08  
they didn't like? I mean, my opinion is because my brand was getting bigger than the company, right? So I have more followers on social media than the company did, and I think that was very upsetting to them. Instead of saying, hey, let's lean into this. This is someone on our C suite. Maybe she can help us, you know, from an operational standpoint, elevate our social media across the company. They didn't do that. Instead, they did the reverse. They said, shut your stuff off. Because, you know, we don't want it to keep interesting.

Podcast Intro  6:35  
The social media sandbox fight there Interesting? Well, it ends

Heather Monahan  6:39  
up being a complete and total gift, because it's what got me fired. And you know, that was an incredible moment in my career and in my life that led me to purpose driven work, which I had never really done in my life,

Podcast Intro  6:51  
right, right? So, to just the story you obviously, you know the owner of the company, he gets ill his daughter, who is also in the executive group, she's appointed, I guess, Chairperson of whatever the title was. And then you're in there, because this is where I really want to start my questions to you. And drill in the things that you have in your book, is how you felt at that table. Did you expect that to happen at that moment? Or did she totally, like, catch you off guard? Yeah.

Heather Monahan  7:20  
No, she was very smart, you know, went to the best schools, and was very introverted, but very, very intelligent woman, so even though I knew she didn't like me, I mean, there was no mincing words around that she had never liked me, but I knew she's so intelligent, why would you, you know, cut off the hand that feeds you. I'm the one that drove all the revenue for the company. I was leading a team for 14 years and had massive success. So I never thought, No, I never thought that she'd fire me.

Podcast Intro  7:47  
So the you talk about in the book, well, I auditable the book so I can just listen to it over and over again. So when I say read, I was listening on Audible. But anyway, listening to it over and over again, how you felt like that, that on the ride home the next day, you and your mind, you're sitting there going, what am I going to do next? You know, what? What I like you said you were worried about your where's your next paycheck going to come from? Well, yeah, if you could take it from there. And then you were, I was listening to you and Elena CARDONE on the way up here this morning, that podcast, and you guys were really talking about taking massive action. And I hear that a lot on the motivational side, but also I don't think John Maxwell, but taking massive action. So where do you take it from there? What are the things you start doing? Because you don't sit around and mope very long here after this firing.

Heather Monahan  8:39  
Yeah, no, I did for 24 hours, I cried. I went under a weighted blanket, you know, I was really I was panicked. I was very upset, and in completely unknown waters because I'd always worked for somebody else. The one thing people don't understand is I had, in order to accept my position as a chief revenue officer, I had to sign an 18 month non compete, non solicit, which meant I had to leave for any reason that I left the company getting fired, that I had to leave the industry I had expertise in, and I could not compete in that industry for 18 months after my last day there. So I for 18 months, a year and a half, I had to go start over as a rookie somewhere where I knew nobody and it didn't have any expertise or experience in order to make an income for a year and a half. So that was really very upsetting, but it's actually what forced me if, if I didn't have that non compete, I certainly would have gone across the street and just went to one of the competitors and buried them that way, but I couldn't do it. So, you know, they would have sued me, and I would have been I would have lost. So I knew that, and so for me, I had to reinvent myself. I had to start over, and that's when I decided nobody was calling me, no one was offering me opportunity or guidance. I decided to post, 24 hours later that I just been fired, and share that. You know, I needed help, and I asked for help, and that post went viral. It landed me on the Elvis Duran show, and halfway through that interview, he said to me, well, Heather. Obviously you're writing a book, but I wasn't writing a book. I had never thought about writing a book. And that conversation and that confidence he spoke into me that day changed the trajectory of my business, right?

Podcast Intro  10:12  
And you do talk about you, obviously your first question was, how do I write a book? And you start researching that, and so digging into confidence. Creator, your first book. I love this, this comment, and then love for you to expand on it. Confidence is the one thing that will change things forever.

Heather Monahan  10:30  
Yeah, confidence is the one thing that changes everything, and it does. It doesn't matter what role in your life that you know you have it in. I tell people, it's, you know, I can be really confident at the gym because I am. I just my whole life, I've been an athlete. I love to work out. I feel so in my strength when I'm there, I don't always feel the most confident in relationships and personal relationships, right? So people are going to be confident. I wasn't the most confident mother when my infant was born and I had no experience, but now at 15, I'm very confident as a mother, right? Though, there's all these different ebbs and flows with confidence in your life, and it's not a static thing. I was really confident in my job until the day I got fired, and then I wasn't confident at all. So you know, one of the things that I tried to impart on people is that as long as the confidence is coming from within you, you're going to be okay. It gets really slippery when like me as a C suite executive, my confidence was coming from my job title, my paycheck, my team, all these things external to me. And the important thing that I learned in this whole rebuilding process was I wasn't going to make that same mistake again. I wasn't going to put my confidence in things that could be taken away from me. I was only going to put my confidence in things that were internal within me.

Podcast Intro  11:42  
You do mention this, and I'm looking in my notes where I because I know I put it down, to expand on how we often think our success is not, is not us. It's due to be the company we work for. It's, it's, it's, has something but not you. And that's something that you speak about in the book. Can you dig a little deeper for me? On, on, on that where you have to actually understand there a big part of it is you.

Heather Monahan  12:09  
Yeah, no, that was a hard thing for me to grasp. And the only way I was ever going to grasp it was getting fired and starting over on my own. People external from me would say to me all the time, and they say it now, I always knew you were going to kill it. I had no fear. I knew that you know you would make it happen. I didn't know that. But in some ways, that's a gift, too, because, because you have that self doubt that makes you work harder, that makes you that much more committed to okay, this isn't a layup. I don't have this whole thing figured out. I've got to put the work in. I've got to take the massive action. I've got to take the risk to see where this takes me. And in some ways, I think it's also, you know, it isn't the best feeling in the world, but it also is a gift that pushes you and motivates you.

Podcast Intro  12:51  
You You have another quote here, and I think you you mentioned that you actually took this from someone else, but fear is a liar, and I want to cross the difference between, or if there's a difference, because there's, there's definitely an overlap between confidence and fear, and how you handle that, and obviously define fear as a liar for our audience here, because obviously they haven't been listening to your material

Heather Monahan  13:14  
like I have. Yeah, in my second book, I say fear is a green light. That means go and go faster. And that's how I choose to reframe fear these days is I see fear as an invitation, like it's calling to me. This is a great thing. Okay, you're about to go to the next level. Oh, this is a sign that you're feeling a little nervous. Oh, my gosh. You're gonna grow you're gonna grow into something new. You're gonna see some new potential within you that you hadn't realized before. I didn't used to see fear that way. I used to see fear like a little kid. Oh, you're out on the road at night, you're five years old, and you a scary person is coming near you, you better run home and hide under a bed. And I kept that mentality with me in business as I progressed in my career. And yes, I became successful because I took a lot of action, but I I also had maxed myself out because I was afraid. I remember saying it to people for years, oh my gosh. They these guys won't listen to me, they won't innovate, they won't take risks. They keep holding me back. And people would say, then, why do you stay there? And I would say, well, because, I mean, I had golden handcuffs. I used to say all the time, it was because I was scared. I was afraid of what's on that other side. It's dark over there. I don't know if there's steps. I don't know what the road looks like, and that fear allowed me to keep myself stuff and not growing. And you know, again, back to the gift that I was given, getting fired, because that thrust me into the unknown, and I had to figure it out. But today, because I spend so much of my time jumping into fear on the daily, I'm no longer afraid of it. I see it now as an invitation and a green light, that means go and go faster, because the sooner you step into it, the sooner it's gone.

Podcast Intro  14:46  
Because it's that site. It's because it's in your head. You that you're the only one that senses it.

Heather Monahan  14:51  
It was never real to begin with, right? You never real

Podcast Intro  14:54  
to begin with that that was real. So, you know one thing I talk about a lot on the. Podcast with the agents and so forth is they do certain things, whether it's education, you know, they're getting into the real estate world there. This is, you know, a whole new career to them. Just as you changing, getting out and speaking and writing a book was totally new to you. And you're there, they're getting out in clients, but they don't know anything about real estate, and some of them are so young, they haven't known their first house yet, but they're selling houses, right? So, but confidence is part of that. So how do you define or differentiate fear versus confidence?

Heather Monahan  15:30  
Well, you know confidence, again, is something intrinsic within you, that it's this knowing, this faith in yourself, this faith in your higher power universe, whatever it is that you want to look that things are going to be okay. Going to be okay, and that you're always going to things are always going to end up working out, even though there might be some pivots and and moments where you're uncertain along the way, it's that really secure, solid feeling that no matter what challenge you're going to face, you're going to work it out. Fear is something outside of you, right? That's not inside of you. It's something that, first of all, doesn't really exist, but it's something that you built up in your mind. It's a story. It's something out there that you're afraid is going to block you, stop you, or cause you trouble. So I really encourage people to lean into the interior, lean into your inside, you know, your inner voice, and start tuning out that noise out there, because so often the things we hear from other people, the challenges we see other people run into and have we start projecting them back onto ourselves. So so don't pay attention to everything that's happening outside of you so much. Instead, tune into that inside inner voice, that inner confidence, and know that you can move forward with confidence through any obstacles, challenges or anything outside of you.

Podcast Intro  16:43  
One of the greatest quotes or phrases that that you say numerous times in the book, I love this one. This is, this is definitely my favorite. One is, don't take advice from someone who hasn't been there where you want been, where you want

Heather Monahan  16:58  
to be. Never take direction from someone who hasn't been where you're going is the way that I say it. Now, I mean, I might have written

Podcast Intro  17:04  
it that way before, but I just jotted down the notes so it couldn't be a

Heather Monahan  17:07  
little off there. That's how, that's how I say NASA. But when you think about it, think about it logistically, would you take direction from someone on the street corner downstairs, I'm In Miami, and say, Tell me how to get to Jacksonville. If the person is never driven from Miami to Jacksonville. No. Why would you do that? No one would do that. That's that you're out of your mind. However, so many of us, myself included, when I wrote my first book, I went to my family, they had written zero books, none. And I sent my book to them, and I asked them what they thought like I was asking for permission and direction from people who had never been where I was going. And of course, they came back and said, No, don't write this book. No, throw it away. You can't do this. This isn't right. And luckily, in that example, I made a really good decision. I called my editor. He'd written 19 books. And I said, Hey, my family's saying I can't do this, and then I need to kibosh the whole project. And he said, How many books have they written? And I said, None. And he said, how many have I written? I said, 19. He said, Who do you think he should listen to? Listen to? And I said, Oh my gosh, you're right. You obviously you right. If I was, if I was asking about feedback on what I was like as a kid, I can't call my editor. I have to call my mom about that, right? So know who you're inviting into your circle in that moment and make sure it's a good decision that you thought about ahead of time and made sure that person's already been where you

Podcast Intro  18:23  
want to go. I was watching a pod, I think was your podcast. You were on stage, and I'm sorry I can't remember the lady's name, but she invented the Spanx. Sarah Blakely, yes, and she basically said that she didn't tell any of her family what she was doing.

Heather Monahan  18:37  
No, she kept it a secret for two years that That's commitment, right? She knew that if she let the idea get out there, people were going to try to talk her out of it, and she was so afraid to be talked out of it, because she had so much doubt. So she said she just kept plowing forward in silence, in secrecy, and told nobody her idea until it was already out in the world.

Podcast Intro  18:57  
I just kind of transition it here as I my questions, and if you, if you want to, well, I mean, I think, I think a lot of your book crosses, there's a lot of cross references back between the two books. So actually we go, but you have, and I think I took this one from your actual website, where you said, if you ever been unsure of the next move or felt your confidence slip just when you needed it, it is the most this book that I butchered it. I'm sorry my cut and paste might not have worked, but let me read that. If you've ever been unsure of the next move or felt your confidence slip just when you needed it, this book's for you, referring to overcome your villains. So here's the

Heather Monahan  19:36  
thing with both the books. Well, first of all, let me make a comment, because you just apologize. So I just want to say for everyone listening, we don't apologize. We always thank everyone for their patience. That's like this incredible little jiu jitsu move that changes us feeling to blame for everything, right again, if you trip an old lady walking down the street, I suggest saying sorry to her, but I mean, when you cut somebody, when you say, Oh, I just butchered this. You didn't do. Do that intentionally. You don't need to apologize to me for that. You need to say, Thanks for your understanding. I'm taking some notes and trying to piece things together. Let me understanding, right? Yeah, exactly. Let me read through right? So we don't need to put ourselves beneath other people by apologizing and blaming ourselves when that wasn't our intent. So that's just, it's a really good hack. And actually, I

Podcast Intro  20:17  
heard you say that in the in when I was listening to the book, where did you Where did you pick that up? I'm sure you referenced it, but if you could, obviously, you probably said sorry for most of your life. And now, in dealing with some of the professionals you're dealing with, or in the world that you're in now, where did you pick up that little

Heather Monahan  20:34  
it was at Barry's boot camp. So as I mentioned, I love working out. And so at Barry's boot camp, shout out Barry's. There's a treadmill situation, and then there's a free weight situation. I would always be on the treadmill running, looking at myself in the mirror. You know, owning my I am strong, I am beautiful, I am confident, like feeling amazing. And My confidence was off the charts the minute I'd get off the tread with everybody else and start walking over to get the weight people start bumping into you. It's packed in there, and I'd find myself, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Oh, sorry. I'm trying to go sorry. And suddenly my confidence was dipping so low that when I started the weight workout, I wasn't feeling like that same person on the treadmill just two minutes earlier. And so when I realized, why am I sorry that that dude just bumped into me. No no more. I'm not doing that. What's another way to handle it? And you know, I really started thinking about when I'm saying sorry, I'm making everything about me. I'm blaming myself. It's all about Heather. When I start saying thank you, and coming from a place of gratitude, I make it about them, right? Excuse me. Thanks so much for giving me some space, or thanks for, you know, seeing that I was coming your way and backing up when you start thanking the other person. And you come from a place of gratitude, you make it all about them. And isn't that the kind of world we want to live in where we spread goodness, thankfulness and gratitude?

Podcast Intro  21:57  
No, that's, that's where the high level and I thank you for expressing that, because I listened to that today, or might have been yesterday, again, listening to your stuff several times, and it was over, and that was one thing that caught in there. You talk about two different types of villains, or the two that I'm going to talk about, there maybe more, but you have the ones that you see every day, like your your lady who fired you, you saw her as a villain. She's physically in front of you. But there's also the secret villains you mentioned in the book, yeah.

Heather Monahan  22:23  
So there are some very obvious villains that we have in our lives. And anytime I have a speaking engagement and I go to Q A I always say I want to see a show. How hands? How many of you know you have a villain in your life you need to get rid of. Everyone raises. Everyone knows someone. Maybe it's your grandmother, you know, maybe it's, I'm not saying it's going to be, you know, easy to do it, but everyone knows there's a person that puts them down, makes them feel less than that, doesn't treat them properly. So we all know those villains that essentially are riding around with a cape on in a room, right? We can see those people. It's clear the harder ones are the really sneaky villains. And I had an experience for a couple of years with a friend that she was never outright rude to me, but she'd be the one that would give the disparaging looks. She was the one that when I would leave lunch with her, I felt so much worse than when I got there. She was the one that would always make comments like, Oh, you're gonna do that again. Oh, you're still single. Oh, gosh, that just sounds awful, right? And suddenly I start noticing I don't feel so good when I'm around her, but I don't know why, because it wasn't overtly and obvious that she was doing these things. It was very, very subtle. And it took another friend saying to me one night we were going to dinner. She said, if you're inviting that friend, I'm not going. And I said, why not? She said, the way that she looks at you and speaks to you is deplorable. It's awful. And I said, you're noticing this? She said, Yeah, it took a while, but I started noticing, you know, she she doesn't treat you, right? Heather. And I thought, Wow. You know, that's in a situation where journaling comes in very handy. When you start looking at wow every time, I'd be feeling good about myself in a good situation, and then I'd go spend time with her, and I would leave, and I'd be doubting myself, second guessing myself, and putting myself down. So those sneaky villains are just as important as the big, obnoxious villains in your life, and just as important to overcome and revoke.

Podcast Intro  24:06  
You've mentioned in the last two stories that you told the gym. In that one about measuring how you felt, and literally from the gym, from the treadmill, just walking across the room you you felt. Your confidence is the word you used. I believe your your confidence level dropped. Is that something you just have really, kind of just focused in, when did you start doing it? Really focusing in on, you know, measuring your level of of, you know, feeling good versus, am I not? I'm not feeling so good anymore. Well, I

Heather Monahan  24:36  
think it's, it's so obvious that, don't we all want to feel good every day. Like, don't we want to do work we love with people. We love like, hang with good people. We want to be around people that respect us, that we respect that vibe is so much higher, right? And we all know what that feels like around like good, high energy people. They get us and and support us, and we feel safe and cared for. That's, that's how life should be. Life should be all about joy. And, you know. Doing good and feeling good. So when you really stop and simplify it, well, what have you just looked at your day and broke it down to little windows of you know what? Most of the time I feel really good, except I don't feel so good when I meet with this person at work every day. What's going on there? Right? Sometimes it's about us. Sometimes, because we're not owning our words the individual, and we're not saying, Listen, I'm teaching you how to treat me. I'm sure I am, because I see you treat people differently. I'd really prefer it if you would address me like this, right? So sometimes it's ourselves that we're upset with, and that's the much harder vibe to correct, right? Because it's always in us. We've got to be the one that has that conversation. We've got to be the one that puts ourselves and our needs first. But as we begin to do that, the people who aren't meant to be with us, we'll start falling by the wayside. The people that are meant to will start treating us with respect because we're teaching them how to treat us. And we'll start feeling better every day, and then we'll start attracting more good opportunities that could people into our lives.

Podcast Intro  25:53  
All right, I'm into my wife's not going to like this, but keep it simple, stupid. Tell me what you write in your journal that over because you do talk about the journal several times. I think you might have been talking about it with Elena. I was because I was listening to several podcasts. But what are you writing down in that journal that obviously has changed a lot, and obviously you, I'm sure you got even better at as time went on. What kind of information are you putting in this, this journal that you, that you refer to?

Heather Monahan  26:16  
Well, when I was younger, I was really kind of documenting everything, because I didn't really know what I was doing, right? So I would just like done will always be better than perfect. So I'm like, I'm just gonna start writing down what's happening in my life. And so I kind of just take 1520 minutes and write down at the end of every day. You know, here's what happened, here's some of the action steps I took here. Here's what was good, here's what's not was good. Like, I didn't like this. The beauty of back then with I'm when I went back and reviewed my journals for years, I went back and read, I think, five different journals, and I could see patterns emerging, of I wouldn't ask for what I wanted. I wouldn't put myself out there. I was afraid I'd be rejected, even though, in business, people say, Well, you were going and doing these big pitches, yeah. But in my personal life, I wasn't living like that. Or I could just start sensing and noticing patterns, which is for helpful and important, because once you notice it, that's, you know, it's a huge step. Now you're like, Okay, what am I going to do to address it? How am I going to change that moving forward? What does my action plan look like? And so I would start building action plans out of that. Here we are years later. I'm 48 now, right? So I know for me now, at this point in my life, I've I've removed the villains I do, work that I love, that brings me joy, makes me feel good. I own who I am. I feel very comfortable and confident in myself. So to me, the way that I can best feed myself with knowledge is showing myself that miracles are happening every day in my life, and being grateful for those and excited about those and expecting them. So that's what I spend my time now writing down, is I just was on a trip in the last two days in New York, and as soon as I got home, I wrote down all the little miracles and joys that showed up that were completely unexpected. And that makes me so excited, because it builds momentum in my mind of, oh my gosh, what's going to happen today and what's going to happen tomorrow? I can't wait to see, and that's the stuff I'm documenting because of where I am on my journey. But for someone just starting out, I would suggest just giving an overview of your day. How do you feel, what happened, and then start paying attention to patterns, start removing the patterns that aren't working for you, the people that aren't working for you, and start gravitating more towards the things that are

Podcast Intro  28:18  
so you're at the out to lunch with your girlfriend and she says something that kind of like upsets you, like that woman we were talking about. You want to write that down to say, you know, I didn't like the way Susie said this. Yeah. And then, because

Heather Monahan  28:29  
what it's going to do, it's going to flag you to the next time someone speaks to you in that way, that's your moment to say, excuse me, that really doesn't feel great hearing that from you. You know, I'm confused. What was your goal with saying that to me, right? Start teaching yourself how to have more difficult conversations, teaching yourself to create boundaries, and then teaching others how to treat you.

Podcast Intro  28:49  
In your books, you have numerous stories that have where you have self defeating thoughts. I mean, I put in here quotes I am not worthy. And even you know, post that's for all the things, even you know, to most recent, just different things that you're doing, you know, whether it was going on the Steve Harvey Show, or just, you know, different things. And you're like, Oh my God. And you're like, looking at yourself, which I think everyone does, you know, I'm 52 you're 48 but, I mean, we all, we still think we're 25 I mean, you know, we kind of go and have to bring ourselves to that presence. And the Yeah, these guys are laughing, yeah, okay. But to really put yourself that you've earned that. And, you know, in but you you say you have to, you're overcoming that confidence part of it, and I am not worthy,

Heather Monahan  29:33  
yeah, the biggest thing for me around worthiness, and again, everybody's a little bit different, doesn't mean you have the same issues I have, right? So some of the stuff you can be, oh, I don't have that problem. Leap, break past it, then you don't have to have all the same challenges I have. I just really try to map them out, so in case somebody has them, they know how to address them. But for me, worthiness, the biggest fix for my worthiness issue was when I decided to claim my shame and stop allowing my shame. Him to claim me that when I flipped the script on shame, my worthiness was off the charts. And for a long time, I had hid that I grew up poor, I had hid that I had been arrested. I had hid things that were driving me sick inside, and I was never going to be the most confident version of myself until I showed up and started rocking it. And it's just, it's such an incredible seismic shift when you're able to give yourself that, that gift of freedom from shame. And for me, that really changed everything with my worthiness.

Podcast Intro  30:33  
Yo, like, well, if I go do that, they're going to find out my past. Is that kind of the mindset that you had?

Heather Monahan  30:38  
Yeah, I thought people might not respect me as much. I thought if people found out I grew up poor, what if they didn't think, you know, they held me in such high regard as an adult and the C suite and look a certain way? What if people knew I was on food stamps when I was little kid? What if they didn't respect me anymore, and it took me, I'll never forget, the easiest way to claim your shame is when you have a very strong why. So for people who are parents, that's, you know, we want to do stuff for our kids so that they don't make the same mistakes we made. Another thing for me is I love charity and giving back. And I was hosting that was, I was the keynote speaker for a charity that I was on the board of, and it's all about children and giving back to underprivileged children in Miami. And these kids have nothing and they live in horrible places, and I'm very familiar with it, because I had a very challenging childhood. I'm not saying My situation is exactly like theirs, but I know enough of what it's like not to have food and to be scared and not be safe. And so my heart breaks around any child that's in that situation, and I want to do whatever I can. My why is so strong. My why for those kids was bigger than my shame for myself. So I decided seven years ago was the first time I did it. I took that stage, and I told for the first time ever that I'd grown up poor and on food stamps, and I cried like did. It was so incredibly hard. I do it all the time now, so it's no big deal, but seven years ago was really hard, right? Like, anything you get, you suck at it at first, and then you get better. And the more I explain my shame, the more I think it's like, oh my gosh, I'm so badass. That's amazing that I grew up poor like I'm so proud to be and have a funny story to tell you about that, because I was with Rudy Giuliani's son yesterday on a tea on a talk show, and it was him against me. It was so funny that, but the discussion we ended up having around that. But I'll tell you that a second for me. You know, claiming that shame that day I got off that stage. I was so emotional, I orchestrated it properly, and all my people were there, everyone that loves me, that really has my back, like my ride or dies, everyone was there. They were going crazy because I knew I needed that support. I needed extra help that day. And then, turns out, my then assistant was live streaming from my phone to Facebook in the back of the room, and so there was 1000s of people watching that talk. And I didn't know that. I thought it was just the whatever 500 people in the room. I didn't know. And what gift that was given in that situation was, I received hundreds of DMS from people, not one saying to me, you low life, you're poor, you know, you don't deserve the job you have. That's what I thought they were going to say. What they said was, if you could do that, then I can too. Thank you for this Gimp. Thank you for showing me what possible. And it taught me that when I make my why bigger than my me, which is my ego, then you know what? All good is going to come out of it. And so I continue to lean into those things now. So start thinking to yourself, What's your why? Maybe it's your child. Maybe it's community work you do, I don't know, but learn to leverage that to help you to extinguish that shame by shining a light on it. Okay, so to the Rudy Giuliani son story. I was on a show in New York yesterday, and I didn't know he was going to be on the on the show with me. Very privileged. Grew up very, very wealthy, you know, went to do his dad's given him huge opportunities his whole life. You know, he grew up in a mansion. His whole let me he has everything financially that you'd think, you know, someone would want. And so the man that was interviewing the two of us teed up my background, and he's like, you know, Heather grew up on food stamps, impoverished, really bad situation. And he said, Heather, no, you're sitting here next to Andrew Giuliani. I mean, how does that make you feel with the success you've created in the hardship you've gone through? And I, and I just said, I feel bad for him. I truly do. And here's what I mean by that. I didn't used to believe that when I was young. I wanted to be him, right? I wanted to live in the mansion. I wanted to have everything handed to me. I didn't have anything handed to me. But the beautiful thing about not having anything handed to you, the beautiful thing about the struggle, there's nothing that will ever take me down, nothing. And I looked at him, I said, I feel so bad you could get taken down by a heavy breeze, like, what? How are you going to handle the challenges that you're going to have to face? And he was funny. He said, Well, it was public housing. It wasn't just, you know, he's very, very funny guy, and so he was, you know, poking fun at himself, but he didn't even understand the struggle. And he said, Well, Heather, sometimes you have to realize that it's all about the journey and enjoying the journey. And I said, pause right there. You didn't grow up poor. You don't enjoy it when you're poor, you don't enjoy it when you can't pay. Your bills, you're scared to death, and you're struggling to find a way out, to find a way to that goal that you have. You're not going to say, yes, you can sit somewhere like I do now, five years later, that I'm not, you know, I'm not fired anymore, and I can say I've enjoyed this journey. I didn't enjoy it when it was happening. And anybody who's gone through issues which so many of us have understands that. So it's like, I don't know to me, it just, it's interesting to see, now, at this point in my life, that I actually see it as a gift. The struggle is a gift, even though you don't see it in a moment.

Podcast Intro  35:33  
Hey folks, this episode was produced by streamline media, the number one media company for helping brands generate content that converts I knew I wanted to start a podcast to reach more people and bring value to the world, but I did not have the time or the knowledge. Streamlined. Media became my secret weapon to building my show. They handle all my back end work, production and strategies to keep my show going strong. If you're in the real estate business and looking to make content that generates more leads and brings in more revenue. Check out the streamlined media link in the show notes and discover how partnering up can supercharge your path to real estate excellence. I'm going to ask one last formal question, and while you're answering it, I'm going to transition so our audience can interact with you a little bit here, but it kind of tees off that story that you were just talking about putting other people on pedestals to, you know, trying to think of this, you tell several stories, but you do mention it, don't put people on pedestals above you, you know. And I kind of actually wrote in here, you know, the saying that we all put our pants on the same way. And understand that. Can you express to the the audience here? You know when you're talking about some of the fear or difficulties that you've had when you have put that person on the pedestal, and then maybe you fear approaching them?

Heather Monahan  36:51  
Yeah, well, one of the best ways that I look at it is it's 2023 and everybody wants to be equal, and everybody should be equal, right? We don't want to. We don't want to treat someone differently because of their age or their job, because where they live, what color they are, what any of this stuff, right? Everyone needs to be on a level playing field. Well, if you are putting people on a proverbial pedestal, you are not treating everyone equal. You're perpetuating this old way of being where we put some people up and some people below. That's not okay, right? So I call everybody out on that. No more of that. For me, that moment was I got a DM from a Harvard professor on LinkedIn, which, if you're not on LinkedIn, go to LinkedIn now, launch your personal brand, start creating content. It's incredible networking opportunity, incredible place to attract business to you. And he had sent me a DM and said, I'd love it if you'd be willing to come in and teach my class for me. And I thought, this is joke, I'm being punked by Ashton Kutcher. There's no way that a Harvard professor wants me because I couldn't get into Harvard. I'm not the smart one, you know, and I all of my negative self doubt was flooding, and I DMed him back after I researched him, found out he was the real deal. And I said, I'm just curious. Why me? And he said, Why you? He said, I'm a white man in his late 60s who's been in academia for over 20 years. You've been in business your entire life. You're a single mother. You understand social media, you understand the hustle. I don't understand any of this. You're going to bring so much unique flavor to my students that I can't give them. It would mean the world to me, and when I saw myself through his lens, I thought, he's right. This, this is my duty. I have to go to Harvard. I have kids that's not fair to set. Yes, they're smart in textbooks, but they don't know how to handle a business negotiation on the fly and trust themselves, and they don't know how to work themselves out of a difficult conversation. They only know how to study the book and the textbook and learn from these professors, who are primarily all older white men. And I just I agreed with them. I'm like, You're right. This is I have got to do this. And it ends up being an incredible experience. We taught a course together professional sales and sales leadership for a year, and it was this great experience for me to really learn. They're all weird, unique and different, just like everybody else. And I definitely don't have Harvard on a pedestal any longer,

Speaker 1  39:07  
right, right? Okay, so here's the question for you. So all these beautiful ladies back here, they're all real estate agents who are in the real estate arena, and so one of the things they utilize social media a lot. I teach social media classes, so I know I see a lot of their faces here to give off their personal brand, because when you're a real estate agent, that is who you are. How does one show confidence online without becoming arrogant?

Heather Monahan  39:31  
People ask me this question all the time, and I don't like it, and let me tell you why arrogance is the ultimate self doubt, the ultimate lack of confidence, right? So, and I know that because I used to be very arrogant, because I was full of so much shame, I was full of so much self doubt, that I wanted to be the brashest, loudest person around and the best. I want to look the best, but I didn't feel it inside. So understand, don't be confused by this arrogance is literally the low. Lowest level of confidence there is. We all know somebody who's like that, right? Confident people don't need to be the loudest. They don't need them to be the best. They don't care what their kids grades are. They care how they feel and how they're showing up to the world inside it, being true to themselves, right? That can be very quiet, that that doesn't they're so polar opposite that I don't even understand how people could compare the two. And just think in your mind of one person you know that truly is arrogant, that you know is so full of so much self doubt, so much self loathing. And think about that person, that's arrogance. You can never become really, really confident and be anything like that. It won't happen. It's not true. Okay.

Speaker 2  40:37  
Brits got another question? Anyone on deck? If anyone wants me. Anybody want me to ask the question? Go ahead, great. We'll ask you guys.

Tracy Hayes  40:45  
Alexis used to be in teenage so She's a pro at this, so

Heather Monahan  40:48  
not really was a long time ago. I'm faking this confident she was white get up and being the confidence. She's being confident that all of you ladies need to be confident. Everybody needs to get up. I'm gonna start calling people out. All right, go ahead. I like, I like to tell my daughter, my son, that, like so many people, are scared to do something, if you just get the up there and do it, then you're a step ahead. If you really have to be in front of people not that confident. I was in broadcasting, and I was shaking all the time. But anyway, my question is, you were talking about this Spanx founder, and you were talking about how she didn't talk about her plans for two years. And I'm wondering if you did the same thing when you were writing your book, or any plans ahead, or if you just went out there and said, Hey, I'm writing this book even before it was published. Did you your Did you advertise your plans first? Because I'm really torn on that philosophy that you keep things to yourself because you shouldn't, you know, announce those kind of things unless you're there already, like if you have a big plan for an advertising campaign as a realtor, or you have, you know, something coming up that you want to do, but you haven't really implemented it yet. And, you know, I do a lot of social media, so I'm really wondering what you think about that, since you brought up the Spanx person and but then you're also in the media doing what you do? What's your name? Alexis McDaniel, thank you. Thank you for that question. So yeah, I did not go about it this Arab lately way probably, if I was smarter, I would have but no, I went on Elvis Duran, remember, like right after I got fired, and he said, Are you writing a book? And I said, Yes, well, of course, I'm writing a book. I wasn't really writing a book, so I was lying right, but I was that's a way to it's reverse engineering accountability. He has millions of listeners, so knew I was gonna get lots of DMS. When's the book coming out? He said, When can we expect the book? I said, it will be within the year. I had no idea, but I held myself accountable. So I reverse engineered social media in that instance, which was helpful, because it put tremendous pressure on me. I said I was writing the book, and I said it would be out within a year. I got it out in five months, which was, I didn't realize how fast you can move if you self publish. It's doesn't take long at all. It's very slow. When you publish with Parker Collins or any other traditional house, they they do like a two to three year window, but when you self publish, you can do it super fast. And so I didn't know any of those things, but it propelled me forward with, like, a very high level of accountability, because I had announced it on the show and and really, you know, spoke this thing into existence. So then I told my family about it before I launched it probably shouldn't have done that, but I did. And so, you know, my mom was mad at me. My sister's an attorney. She told me I was going to get sued, that I was, you know, being irresponsible, and I couldn't do it. And then I explained to you the smart thing I did was calling my editor, who had written 19 books. I explained everything to him, and he said, Who cares? Throw their ideas out the window. They've never written a book. So I My point is, you can do it either way, and only you have the answer to what that is, I'm grateful that I put it out on social media, on Elvis Duran. I would have never moved as fast as I did, had I not done that. Right? That was such a high level of accountability. Sarah Blakely will tell you, for her, she's grateful she didn't put it on Elvis Duran or anywhere else, right? She's grateful she kept her everybody's journey is uniquely different, but the one most important thing, in my opinion, is to ask you what that answer is for you. You already have the answer. Don't let other people come into your zone and try to project what's what's right for me isn't going to be right for you, or maybe it is, I don't know, but you need to ask yourself that question and get real with yourself. I was at a conference on Saturday, and we did this live, Q and A and the man stood up and he said, I have a very convoluted question. It's very confusing. I said, hit me with it. I'm gonna simplify it, no problem. And so he gives me some ridiculous story about social media and his brand and the company brand and and confusing people and blah, blah, blah. And I listened to him was like five minute long question, and at the end, I said, Okay, we got the gist of it. Let me ask you a question. What does your heart tell you to do? And you know what? He said, Oh, shit, I know what I have to do. I said, there. It's that simple, right? It doesn't, and we all know. So ask, get real with yourself. You know, journaling helps you to do that. Just. Have that conversation with yourself. What is your heart telling you to do? You'll know what that answer is, I did the right thing for me, and Sarah did the right thing for her.

Podcast Intro  45:07  
Heather, you mentioned in that thing with talking with the family and so forth, because your sister's an attorney, and obviously when someone says they're going to get sued, they all buckle down and don't want to go out the front door. Tell us how you handled that part of that?

Heather Monahan  45:21  
Yeah, I mean, well, I went on the James Altucher show. He has a big podcast right around the time this is all happening, and he's got tons of books out there, very, very successful, much further down the road that I wanted to go down. He's been where I want to go. So I shared that story with him. I said, I'm, you know, my sister is the smart one. She has the PhD. She's the lawyer. She's trying to protect me. And he started laughing. He said, Heather, you could get sued for anything. You can get sued for walking out of here, right? You anyone can sue anyone in this litigious society for anything. He said, As long as you're being real with yourself, Is it really your book? Yes. Did you really write it? Yes. Okay, then move forward like and that resonated with me. When I heard those words, I thought, You know what? He's right. I have been sued for other things before that. I definitely didn't do wrong and was freed from eventually, maybe this will be the same way. But guess what? Nothing ever happened. No one ever sued me, not for my two books, not for my TED Talk, not for any not my podcast, nothing. So it's, you know what? I'll worry when I get the notice from the lawyer, right? I'm not going to sit around and worry if I know, as long as you know you're meeting with good intention. I'm not stealing people's ideas and repurposing them as my own, then I need to worry, right? But if you're like, writing your own content, creating your own stuff, tune into you. For me, I was like, You know what? If someone wants to sue me? They're going to be discovered as they're wrong, not me. I'm not doing anything wrong, and I've moved forward with that attitude, expecting good things to happen. And it does. Ladies, anyone

Speaker 2  46:50  
else want to step up? You want to be bashful? Suzanne, Susan, come on up. Come on up. All right, Sue

Heather Monahan  46:56  
so you don't mind telling everybody what you've been doing. Tell us what you're going to do in the future? What's something new and different for you? Something different? Yeah, I've learned a lot from the pandemic, right? So I used to be one of these people that forecast out the next 10 years of my life. Well, the pandemic taught me you can't do that anymore. We don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. I have no idea. I just pray virtual school never happens again, but it could. I have no idea. So for me, I live in a much more ambiguous space in that I don't know. I've been pitching my book, my first book to be a movie. I pitched it 9 million times. I will continue to pitch it. I just want a new shoe product. I've been pitching QVC. I'm putting me on air to sell that. I've gotten four no's. I keep pitching that I'm writing a third book. I think I'm going to self publish it. Decided it doesn't really matter. It'll be out like in the next year or so, right? I I've been working on, it's not official yet, but I'm working on a show right now, a different show than my podcast, a show with somebody else. So that might be happening next month. So there are so many amazing things that have the potential of happening, but I don't stay like so fixed on the outcome that it has to be that Reese Witherspoon is producing confidence creator into a movie, and I can't sleep if it doesn't happen, I just put a lot of stuff out there with good content that falls under the umbrella of what I stand for and who I am and what my brand is, and I stay true to it, and I know the right things will come together and the wrong ones won't, and other doors will open. I've landed my board position during covid. I had never had a paid board seat before. That has been the most incredible experience for me, financially, networking wise, I know that was happening right then came out of left field in covid, and I didn't know I was going to become a zoom speaker. Figured that out pretty fast, and now I'm a great zoom speaker, right? So I don't know what's going to come next, but I'm so excited for it. It's going to be amazing.

Podcast Intro  48:47  
Brett, did you want to ask the question that I You're scared now I thought, I thought this. I thought you've been holding on to this question for several days.

Speaker 1  48:55  
So another thing listening to your story, we do have parallels. I'm a single mom. Didn't grow up in Giuliani son's house, either. So one of the things I was going to ask you is so a lot of that grit and drive comes from maybe our past in situations where we just had to make decision no matter what. So for you, and maybe for some of the ladies in the room that maybe haven't had to go through a bunch of adversity, or maybe even younger realtors that are still are going through the seasoning of life. What is one of the key things that you do to make yourself feel confident on days when you don't for me, I put post its around my house. I'm a psychopath about that. So what is a very small or big thing that you do that helps to make yourself feel confident on days

Heather Monahan  49:40  
when you don't feel it, yeah, my new shoe product, they're stickers for the bottom of your shoes that say, like, I can I will all motivational sayings. I'm big into reminders. I put reminders in my phone. I'm making so many more products with reminders all over it. So frequency sells, right? And that's something in regards to sales, the messaging that you're telling, if you're saying to. One of your potential buyers, this thing is going to move. This thing is not going to be on the market for much longer. I am not doing my job, if I don't let you know that the hot property a lot of people frequency sells. It takes people a few times and hearing messaging before it really sinks in. And so I think the frequency is seven within a three day period. But so we're all being bombarded with messages. Messaging is so, so so powerful. You're in charge of all of it. Give yourself the frequency you need to really drive on the messaging that you want to rock, that you want to own. I have a morning practice. I pray every morning. I have all these different things that I read in the morning that, like, get me so focused on what I'm going to do, so excited for what all good is happening for me, I work out almost every single morning. For me, that's how I feel confident. A lot of people, that's not for them. They want to meditate, you know, they want to go for a walk, whatever. Do what works for you? For me, the colors that I wear impact my confidence. If I'm really nervous, there's sir. I wear blue or red anytime I'm really nervous, those are my bomb colors. I have a playlist that I only play when I'm about to do something really scary, because I pray I prime my mind. It's neuroscience, and all the top athletes in the world shout out Tom Brady, you know, he uses this visualization and priming your mind. So I sit and visualize the the situation going the way that I want it to go. I use the music and leverage the music, which tells my brain I'm about to go do something incredible, and it's going to be amazing, and I remind myself of three other instances in my career where I was afraid to move into something. I was afraid it wasn't going to go well, and things went really,

Podcast Intro  51:28  
really well, ladies, anything else? So I wrote down this again, another phrase that you because I was listening to a podcast or listening to the book, we attract business to us. Don't chase it. And I think it kind of summarizes everything that we're talking about, but kind of express that when you came to that realization, you know, whether it's your social media campaign or the books, when you came to the realization that you, like you mentioned just a few minutes ago, you were putting out all this content under the umbrella that you you work within, and all of a sudden these opportunities started To find you. Yeah.

Heather Monahan  52:01  
So for years, I was recruiting people to work for me in the media business. And finally, one day, I said to myself, This just doesn't make sense. I'm constantly trying to one people down. I'm constantly chasing everyone. I need to ship the current and I want people coming to me. That's a smarter way to do business. And that's where, six years ago now, I launched my personal brand, so I could start attracting people to me. People want to do business with, people they know, like and trust, right? We all know that. And so I thought the best way for me to get people to know who I am is to go on podcasts, to create blog content, to have a website to drive people to so you could see who I am. I'm a real person, to put videos out there to, you know, personal stories out there, and really highlight who I am as a person so that they're going to know, like and trust me before they ever meet me in real life or on Zoom before. And so I think that's a really powerful strategy to lean into, because you can scale so much larger than if you're the one chasing every single opportunity down, shift that current and pull that opportunity towards you,

Podcast Intro  53:00  
which is exactly how you talk to a lot of the top agents. That's what they're talking about. Whether they're doing it through social media, they're putting themselves out there, because we know in Florida, people are moving from other areas. They're searching, they're Googling them and finding them on YouTube, if they're doing YouTube, or you do a lot on LinkedIn. Now you I have heard you mention again, and all the different things I've heard where you wish you kind of spread a little bit more across some of the other social media platforms. But why is LinkedIn work for you?

Heather Monahan  53:27  
Because Mark Zuckerberg doesn't own it, so there's no the algorithm isn't set up to, you know, Instagram and Facebook are called pay to play platforms. If you want a post to go viral, you pay you advertise. I don't want to pay for that because I don't need to over there right now. LinkedIn won't be this way forever. At some point in time, they'll get more pressure that people have to pay to promote close and that will start happening. It hasn't happened yet, right? So Tiktok is in the same situation. Tiktok and LinkedIn are the two fastest going virality without a pay to play situation. Twitter is pay to play, Instagram, Facebook, pay to play. So to me, I just grab it. I still post in all of the places, but I spend my time where I'm going to get the strongest ROI return on my time investment, right? And so, yeah, I'm not spending dollars to promote the post, but it takes time to sit down and create content for a specific platform. All day long, I will spend my time on LinkedIn because it's the fastest growing community with real people who are looking to do business, who want to hear your business insights, and who engage in conversation and share your content.

Podcast Intro  54:30  
So since we're on LinkedIn and you study it, you play it all the time, what are some of the what is LinkedIn like?

Heather Monahan  54:35  
Well, right now, always see everything through a lens of business, right? So even if you're a single mom, and you can write the top three fast dinners to make on school nights when you're when you got a busy work week, and you itemize the meals that you create. That's a great LinkedIn post, right? Like see it through the lens of who you are, what you're good at, what people ask for you from advice. People ask me a lot for sales advice. So I just did a post. I. Yesterday or today. About top 10 things everyone needs to know when you're selling anything right posts like that are always going to do well, because people those are questions they're asking you anyways, the questions that people ask you in your life, create content to answer those questions, and then you'll start creating a community that you're adding value to. And then it's like Gary Vaynerchuk book, right hook, left hook. Whenever you're you're going to create content, you're going to share your insights, you're going to teach, and then you're going to convert into a business opportunity. So I'll put up, you know, three or four posts adding value to people, shareable quote cards that I know that they're going to share like crazy, because that spikes the post success and morality. But then I'll come in really hard with a if you, if you're looking for a strong keynote speaker and you want to be with the best of the best, here's the reasons why you need to hire Heather. And I'm boom, hit him in the face with what I'm asking for, right? So I do some of these really direct selling posts, and then a lot of times I'm just doing like, you know, here's how you can grow your business. Here's what I would lean into if I was just starting a personal brand. You know, just different ways to teach and help others.

Podcast Intro  56:01  
So, you know, once again, I mean, you're talking directly to these real estate agents, and the things they, I know, of course, their classes and trainings are going to, that's exactly what they're talking to. I don't think enough of them are actually on LinkedIn, where we are putting on Instagram, you know, hey, here's how to apply for a loan or whatever, you know, those types of things. But actually, again, taking those our day to day life, like what meals to cook to, hey, here's the first steps to, you know, buying luxury real estate, or whatever it may be in the real estate world, I think it's underestimated at least, at least in our area, and a lot of agents, I look they don't, lot of them don't have their LinkedIn even set up. It should be more. Should be more than a resume is, is what really what I'm saying, because that's really what oftentimes, you see, it's just a resume.

Heather Monahan  56:44  
Yeah, absolutely. And this is you want to be dealing with people who have dollars to spend. These are all people with big jobs and big careers, and they're busy, right? So these are the people you want to develop a relationship with, so that you have a relationship with them when they want to buy a home, or when they want to research that area for a second home, or whatever it may be you want them to already know, like and trust you, right? Right?

Speaker 2  57:05  
I so are you cut out you short on time? Are you we right on time for you? No, I'm fine, right now. You're good. Okay, ladies, anything else? Oh, you're gonna meet my wife.

Heather Monahan  57:14  
I think one of my biggest challenges is indecisiveness, like I grew up, you know, perfectionist, all this stuff, which I've pretty much conquered, the perfectionism thing. I'm not so much that anymore. But indecision, in terms of, like, you have a bunch of opportunities, lots of things are you could chase, you know, good thing. How do you have a strategy or anything on how to decide which path to follow, or what, you know, to just come to a decision faster. Indecision is a decision. That's the worst decision you can make not making one. So remind right? You should have that written as a note in your phone every morning when you wake up, that pops on so you'll know this. Okay, when I'm confronted with an opportunity to make a decision, say I'm gonna make it left or right, right or left, it doesn't matter. You'll figure it out along the way. But not making the decision is gonna slow your business. It's going to slow you, it's going to stop your progress. That is the worst decision possible that you can make, is not making one. So just remind yourself of that, and then just whatever field write to go for it. And you know what? You could always pivot and change, but you're not going to know until you try anything else.

Podcast Intro  58:15  
I'm asking from a male perspective here, Heather, so you have to bear with me. I'm not apologizing. Thank you for understanding and translating what I'm telling you. Yeah, Brit and you have a lot in common, actually. When I started learning obviously you accepted the podcast invitation, she was one of the first person that I sent the link to. I said, Hey, I've got Heather Monahan, check her stuff out, and I sent all your links and things for her to. And Brit immediately her, you know, you know, bulb went off the you know, and she said, Oh, man, this is awesome. So she's big. And to women, helping women, if I could say this correctly, but oftentimes women say they're in in women empowerment group, if I could say it better, but they actually don't follow through. And how does that negatively affect the ladies in general. All right, Britt's gonna come up and clarify now.

Speaker 1  59:04  
So I posted the podcast. I just remember, it's yellow lettering. I'm terrible about this, but it's on my Facebook page. And there is a movement that has happened with women, empowering women, and I love that space. However, there are those that didn't embody it, and that is who they are, and those are that wanted to jump on that hashtag because it sounded good. So what I was saying about that is you had touched on how it really hurts and hinders some of us that are trying to move it forward. And so I don't even know what my question was. I just wanted you to touch on that a little bit more, because I think it's how negatively, yeah, how it negatively affects the rest of us and what we're

Heather Monahan  59:39  
trying to do, oh, yeah. There's no doubt that the biggest sabotages for women in business is women in business. Those are, you know, that's been my experience anyways, at least when I was in corporate America. And the problem is, it's usually very sneaky, very quiet. And to your point, they'll jump on the hashtag. They're sitting on the board of women, empowering women, but really they're trying. Gonna jam them up and stab them in the back any way that they can. So it's so important to call that out. I'm a big believer. If you see someone disrespecting another woman, holding another woman back, bad mouthing another woman, call them out for their bad behavior, that's the only way I could see how this changes, where people aren't going to be, you know. Oh, that's so funny. Yeah, haha, that you held that lady back? No, you know what? That's somebody's daughter. That somebody opened a door for, you know, Oprah Winfrey opened a door for all of us before us to know that we could go for more. I want to be that person, for someone behind and I'm not going to allow you to stop somebody else. That's just, that's disrespectful, that's disgusting. Frankly, we have enough challenges. You know, in the competitive in competitive work environments, why wouldn't we be here and be that champion for another woman? There's a poll place in hell for women that hold other women back, and we've got to start calling out that bad behavior.

Podcast Intro  1:00:50  
There's a place we're gonna cut that as a real right there the place in hell. All right, I'm gonna wrap up, Heather, here's my last question I ask on every podcast. I kind of think I know where you're going to go with the answer. Is it more important who you know or what you know and why?

Heather Monahan  1:01:08  
I mean, both are important to me. It's really it starts with what you know, right? Because when you know to believe in yourself, when you know that you ultimately have all the answers, when you know there's really nothing to fear, then you can know anybody you want, right? Then it's easy to go out and network and meet everyone and get to anyone, because you're you're fearless, and you're gonna move forward, taking chances and going for more and taking the risk to call the person. So when you know the right things, you can find those right people very easily. I love it. Love the answer.

Podcast Intro  1:01:38  
Any else I'm gonna close out, Heather, appreciate you spend an hour with I hope the ladies here got enough. They all got your book, so I know they'll be following you on social media. I do know you do some coaching as well. If I see it on your website, do you want to kind of tell the ladies some of the things you do there?

Heather Monahan  1:01:52  
Yeah, I do some one on one coaching. I don't do a lot of it. I only do five clients a quarter, but just because it, you know, it takes up time. But yeah, and I do a lot of and it's incredible. I've worked with CEOs of oil and gas companies. I've worked with women. I've never worked with the realtor, but I've worked with women in SVP as some of the largest companies out there. And then I've worked with stay at home moms who want to reinvent themselves and come back into the business. So it's super exciting to get to see everyone, no matter where they are in their journey, no matter if they're male, female, what color they it doesn't matter. Everyone deals with self doubt and this idea that, how am I going to make this happen? And it's just important to get your clarity, write your goals down, be specific, you know, own them, hold yourself accountable. You've got to really, you know, put your feet to the fire and make the decision that you will make, the decisions you will go for. More you your your goal list is more important than your grocery list, and so often, you know, women in general, are prioritizing everybody else over them. Start prior prioritizing you. That's the most selfless thing you can do, because you'll feel better than ever, and you'll be able to pour all that love over to everybody else.

Speaker 2  1:02:57  
I appreciate you. Thanks so much, guys. It was great. Thank you

Podcast Intro  1:03:01  
and confidence. Creator is your podcast as well.

Heather Monahan  1:03:05  
Creating confidence, creating confidence, your girl. Heather Monahan,

Podcast Intro  1:03:09  
thank you. Let me be tuning in. Thank you, Heather.

Unknown Speaker  1:03:11  
Thanks so much. Bye, bye.

Speaker 3  1:03:17  
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